Thinking Aloud: Because Many Things Have Happened…

...but that's just how life is; many things do happen.
…but that’s just how life is; many things do happen.

So I haven’t written a post for a week now and I felt like one was overdue. Truthfully I haven’t been blogging as much as I want to be; things keep coming up that I’ve gotta deal with, I feel like writing my story more, or I just have a lack of ideas for a blog post. Whatever the case is I’m gonna change that starting with this.

Back a few months ago (okay a lot of months ago now) I used to get a new post out on a regular basis, that’s something I really want to go back to doing. When you’ve got a blog that’s a “personal” one, meaning it’s pretty much just you talking about random shit, there will be times where ideas run short. Truthfully I’ve probably got lots of ideas, I just don’t organize them into posts or anything, they just stay ideas in my head with me going “wow that’d sure make an awesome blog post”.

So for this post I actually have something(s) to talk about, first up I’ll talk about shoes. Now for long time followers of my blog you’ll remember my year long quest to get a certain pair of Batman Converse shoes; well I can officially tell you that I’ve decided to end that quest. Why? Well for a few reasons. First: I was never able to talk to said people who’d be doing the bootleg shipping for me, second: I couldn’t get the money needed, and third: things haven’t exactly been “great” at home for the past while and it’s just been a bitch having to deal with all this shit.

I should also mention it’s partly Converse’s fault for not shipping to Canada. I mean seriously we’re right across the fucking border! How hard can it be to put a pair of shoes in a box and send it north?! Goddamn it if they just shipped here then I’d probably have the shoes by now, but noooooo they don’t fucking work that way!

All things considered I had to end my nearly year long quest to acquire these shoes. Yes I’m upset about it, I really wanted those shoes too, they’re so badass and all, but sometimes things just don’t work out the way you want them too, no matter how hard you try. Plain and simple, that’s life for you.

Next I’d like to just write out some thoughts so pardon if they get random. It’s nearly the end of 2013, imagine that. Where did this year go? Seems like they fly by quicker and quicker these days. Are you looking forward to the New Year? Got any New Year’s resolutions? I think mine consist of trying harder to find a job, coming out of my shell a bit more and being sociable, along with writing more and getting something finished.

I’ve pretty much reached that point in my life where I gotta start seeing things differently and realizing that I’m growing up here and I need to do something with my life. Dating back to who knows when, I’ve never had an idea of what I want to do for a living. Writing isn’t exactly a job you can actively support yourself on, unless you’re pumping out books every other day. Hell I haven’t even finished a single story since I started writing in 2009. I’d be broke and dead if I tried to do this for a living.

School is another thing I just don’t like to think about. I really wanna just come clean and explain why it’s such a fucked up situation for me, but I think even for a personal blog I’d like to keep some things out, this being one of them. That and the constant issues I face at home, geez… it’s just one long nightmare that’s been going on for years at this point. I think everyday about how I could somehow change this and just make things better, but I draw blanks and end up back at square one. I think the only thing keeping my sanity right now is doing this, blogging and writing my stories. Seriously if I never got into this I’m not sure where I’d be these days.

So… what to talk about next? Something exciting needs to happen my life. As silly as it sounds I wish my life was more like that in a story or something. I hate this mundane routine I go through everyday, but I can’t break myself free of it either. I need something, almost anything to happen. Easier said than done, I don’t exactly live in an area where anything happens. When I move out I’d love to live in the city, where things happen and there is just generally more to do. Despite what I may say, I do think I’ve become this way due to lack of association with others.

Thinking back to when I was in school years ago, I was probably a totally different person than I am now. I actually did have friends, I talked more, I was probably happier and things just seemed to be better. No, I don’t wish that those days never ended (I’ve seen what happens when you wish for that, it ain’t good) but certain aspects I do miss about back then. But I guess it’s all part of growing up, things change and you gotta deal with it.

So in the end where did this blog post go? Objectively probably nowhere, but that’s what this blog is, somewhere I can sort out my life. I like writing these ‘Thinking Aloud’ posts, it’s my way of not keeping everything shut up inside myself. Whether or not what I actually write down makes sense who cares, I just like doing this rather than talking with someone (there I go again…). I guess I’ll quickly mention my story before I end this post; that’s something I’m actively working on these days,  it’s what’s keeping me going. If you haven’t checked it out yet, I recommend doing so, it’s only got 5 chapters as of now but it seems to be getting a good enough reception (okay I don’t know that for sure, but no one’s said they hate it, so that’s a plus).

I’ve accomplished what I’ve wanted to do so I’ll end this post here. Thanks for reading and I’m off to do something else.



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