August Post a Day Challenge Day 5: Soapy Books

All the soapy wet goodness. Miku, I love you.
All the soapy wet goodness. Miku, I love you.

Ooh, creative title!

10 points for me!

I use swear words and make a sex jokes in this post, sorry; don’t read this with your kids.

A few weeks ago as I was still suffering through my toenail being removed, I had to get the bandage changed as it was that day. Monday actually, yes I remember that, and I went to the clinic after class. Arriving at said clinic, it was rather quite so I signed in and took a seat, little did I know that seat would become my best pal over the next 2 and a half hours.

Aside from the magazines sitting on the large square coffee table, there is a Samsung TV (product placement in my post, yeah I know) hanging from the wall across from me. Thinking I’ll only be a few minutes (as the lady behind the counter never actually told me how long it’d take, nor did I think of asking) I idly  watched what the TV had on, that program being a woman’s talk show, The Social or something like that.

So it’s in the last 20 minutes and all these women are sitting around on sofas talking about perfume, clothing and shit like that (no I’m not trying to offend any girls who read my blog by calling that stuff ‘shit’; if that term bothers you I’m very sorry, please forgive me) and it’s just a ball for them. I could careless about it all, but it beats reading magazines with the same shit in it (I said it again…) so I opted to watch the TV version of it.  I’d soon come to realize that I’d enjoy that much more than what was coming on next.

So The Social ends and the next show is starting, The Bold and the Beautiful. Holy fuck… I don’t usually watch daytime TV, but after sitting through all 30 minutes of that show, wow… I can’t actually believe someone could watch that seriously. If you’ve never heard of it before, it’s pretty much this soap opera where everyone is over the top melodramatic about everything, every male character’s shirt is unbuttoned way too much to call safe, so the fucking dude’s waxed chest is hanging out for all the ladies to get wet over, there are these ridiculous close up shots on the characters after something profound happens, and it’s sappier that sap dripping from a fucking tree.

Just wow… but as if all that shit isn’t bad enough, what killed me was the dialog. Shit… I haven’t heard dialog that bad in a very, very long time. I think even the shit in a Michael Bay movie is better than this show. So yeah I’ve never loved commercial breaks more than I did for those 30 minutes, I cheered silently when it paused for commercials, it was like a breath of fresh air or something. Never again I tell you, never again will I ever sit in the same room as a soap opera is playing in.

What made this even better was that by this point the clinic had started to fill up with people, and these two women are standing there, completely and totally engrossed with this soap, ACTUALLY WATCHING IT SERIOUSLY! OH MY GOD ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?! But yeah, they’re watching this and talking about it like it’s king shit or something. I’m sitting there pulling my eyelids out because it’s unbearably lame, and here these two women are FUCKING ENJOYING IT. HA FUCKING HA.

So after these 30 minutes of shit pass, E-Talk is up next, you know that really shitty entertainment show with that fag who talks about shit no one actually gives a fuck about at ADHD speeds? Yeah that. I found it funny that they had a 30 second blurb about the plan crash in Ukraine (or where ever the fuck it was) back when it was actually newsworthy stuff. So they mention this for a few brief moments, like a very few brief moments, they show this clip of that prince guy in the UK, William or something, you know that guy married to that pretty girl? Yeah, him. Anyways they showed some 2 second clip of some speech he gave, apparently they needed to include that, but after that they had a “moment” of silence, which must have lasted a fraction of a millisecond, long enough for this greasy haired douche bag to catch his breath before going on to talk about some celebrity who did something that, once again, no one gives a fuck about.

30 minutes later brought us to the top of the hour where Dr. Phil came on.  WHOOPTY-FUCKING-DOO, WE GET TO WATCH DR. PHIL NOW! ISN’T THAT THE FUCKING GREATEST?! Yes that actually went through my head. So anyways doc is busy talking to this mother about how her brother (her child’s uncle? is that right) was feeling this little girl up in the shower and shit like that. So I’m sitting there with this confused, annoyed and extremely bored look on my face as this woman goes on to relate how this guy got the little girl to touch her penis.

Uh… what?

Yeah that’s daytime TV for you. So I glance around the room, this mother with her child are sitting there drinking this all in while a rather large red banner scrolls across the bottom of the screen saying “THIS SHOW CONTAINS STRONG GRAPHIC SEXUAL CONTENT AND IS NOT SUITABLE FOR CHILDREN” prompting me to say the obvious “YEAH NO SHIT!” (which I said silently to myself).

Thankfully all hope is not lost!! By now I’m just wondering if I’ll ever get called into the office, but thankfully my time finally arrives and I can see the doctor now. Once in the office she begins to take off (not her clothes, if you were thinking that) the bandage on my toe, as I’m sure you remember seeing the picture of, and once it’s all off, she calls a doctor in to have a look. Doc says it’s all fine and well, healing very nicely and is just generally upbeat about the whole thing; he leaves to get yet another nurse (who, I might add, was quite charming) to them put something on my toe, cream of some sort.

IMAG0411She arrives and upon seeing my toe, instantly starts asking if it hurts, if I can walk fine, do I feel any pain, and just rapid fire questions usually ending up with asking if it hurts. A very different response than the doc gave me. So she lathers this cream on, slaps a Band-Aid on me and I’m good to go. After over 2 hours waiting, I’m in and out of the office in probably 10 minutes. Yeah…

But as of now, my toe is looking much better and is on the road to recovery right now.

I like reading. Do you? If so that’s great! Any girls like reading, call me up!

Haha that was a shit joke, sorry.

Uh… right that’s what I was going to say, reading. I’m reading this book right now, just something I picked up from the library (why I’m not reading that manga I bought, I’m not sure, don’t ask me) and I’ve noticed that it’s got a surprising amount of swear words in it, notably the f word.

Now I’ve got no problem with swearing in books, doesn’t bother me, but I just found it interesting that this book, seemingly pretty average would crack out the big guns so frequently like that. So yeah, took me by surprise, but it’s nothing to lose sleep over.  They also spent 2 and a half pages making one long gay joke.  Are boys change rooms really like that?

So that’s it for this post. Thanks for reading and I’ll cya tomorrow.

Justin and I are always busy over at my anime blog, Anime Corps. Why not stop by and check it out?

If you’re on Twitter, be sure to follow me for tweets about all kinds of things. Random pic spams included too.

If you noticed any spelling and/or grammar errors, please let me know so I can fix them. Thanks!



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